This post is about something I’ve been sitting with for a while. It’s personal, opinionated, and grounded in curiosity like most lessons I try to write about. I don’t intend to convince anyone but rather openly talk about the stories we’re told, especially when those stories are about our own bodies.
There’s a dominant narrative around childbirth that openly promotes vaginal delivery as the superior, more authentic way to give birth. But when you strip away the emotional messaging, sometimes the guilt tactics, and the romanticized idealism, what’s left is often not science but social conditioning, misinformation, and frankly, some level of misogyny.
Let’s talk about one of the most repeated claims: that vaginal birth is essential because it seeds the baby’s microbiome. It’s true that newborns are exposed to bacteria in the birth canal, but multiple studies have shown that by six months of age, the microbiome of babies born via C-section and vaginal birth are essentially indistinguishable, especially when the baby is breastfed and lives in a healthy environment. So why is this argument still pushed so hard into expecting mothers? Because it sounds scientific enough to unfortunately guilt women into accepting pain and risk as a maternal duty.
Another myth: that vaginal birth is better for “bonding.” This one is even harder to debunk because it plays directly into maternal guilt. Yet research shows that bonding is a complex psychological process influenced more by skin-to-skin contact, maternal mood, postpartum support, and feeding practices than by the mode of delivery. There’s no evidence that C-section mothers love their children any less or that their children are less attached. But this myth continues, whispered by relatives, reinforced by nurses, and internalized by women already overwhelmed by the weight of motherhood.
And then there’s the oldest, most dangerous myth: “Your body is made for this.”
No. Sometimes, it isn’t.
Evolution doesn’t guarantee safe outcomes. Babies today are, on average, larger than in previous generations, thanks to better maternal nutrition and healthcare. But women’s pelvises haven’t magically widened. This mismatch has increased the risk of obstructed labor, shoulder dystocia, and emergency interventions. And yet, this fact is rarely mentioned in prenatal care unless something goes very wrong.
What no one tells you is what vaginal birth can do to your body long term. The risk of tearing. The risk of prolapse. The risk of incontinence. The painful sex. The discomfort that lingers not for weeks, but sometimes for years. The trauma no one validates because, “Hey, at least the baby is healthy, right?”
The usual advice for expecting mothers at this point is doing Kegel exercises, the classic clench-and-release moves to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles supporting the bladder, uterus, and bowels. These exercises can help reduce urinary or fecal incontinence in the short term, and even improve sexual function and muscle tone after childbirth.
However, the evidence shows that Kegels don’t guarantee long‑term recovery after vaginal birth. Some studies report mixed outcomes: while pelvic floor muscle training (PFMT) does reduce stress urinary incontinence and prolapse risk in the early months postpartum, its benefit for sustained function beyond six months to a year is inconsistent. Additionally, not all bodies respond the same way. In cases where pelvic floor muscles are overly tight (rather than weak), Kegel exercises can actually worsen symptoms such as pelvic pain.
And C-sections? Instead of being presented as a legitimate, even rational option, they’re portrayed as the least resource, sometimes even cowardly, lazy, or selfish. Women are discouraged from asking questions, shamed for planning their births, and told to just “trust their bodies” while the system around them fails to give them full, honest information.
Let’s not forget the asthma scare tactic either. Some studies show a slightly higher risk of asthma in C-section babies, but that difference is small, not causally proven, and tends to disappear by early childhood. More importantly, factors like environment, genetics, antibiotic use, and feeding choices play a much bigger role than how the baby was delivered.
That’s not empowerment. That’s coercion wrapped in pastel-colored messaging.
And it’s misogyny. Misogyny that tells women pain is noble and suffering is sacred. That you should earn your motherhood with your body torn open in the “right” way.
The complicity is widespread. Some doctors present only partial truths. Family members and even other moms chime in with stories disguised as advice. Society applauds women who endure, but never questions why they had to in the first place, which promotes more women to believe these stories themselves.
I’m not a mom, but if I’m someday, I want science, not shame. Choice, not coercion. Respect, not romance.
Let’s stop pretending that pain is a virtue and that silence is safety. Let’s start telling women the truth and trusting them to make the right decisions for their own lives, their own bodies, and their own babies.
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Side note: if you’re curious
A few evidence‑based references related to birth recovery and long‑term outcomes:
On Pelvic Floor & Kegels
• Health (2025): Kegel Exercises: What They Can and Can’t Do
• Cureus (2025): Effectiveness of Pelvic Floor Muscle Training in Preventing Urinary Incontinence After Vaginal Delivery
• ScienceDirect (2017): Pelvic Floor Muscle Training for Prevention and Treatment of Urinary and Anal Incontinence
• The Guardian (2025): The Myths About Kegels
On Delivery & Infant Health
• Yassour et al. (2016). Natural history of the infant gut microbiome and impact of antibiotic treatment on bacterial strain diversity and stability. Cell Host & Microbe.
• Zhou et al. (2019). Association of Cesarean Delivery With Risk of Childhood Asthma and Allergic Rhinitis. Allergy Asthma Clin Immunol.
• Hill et al. (2017). Impact of delivery mode on infant gut microbiota. Frontiers in Pediatrics.
Stay healthy, stay curious, and never stop informing yourself 🩷
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