A while ago, I wrote a post about India without ever having been there. It was based on what I had learned from Indian friends and colleagues who challenged my stereotypes and shared beautiful, personal stories about community, marriage, and connection.
But then I actually went to India. And it turns out, no amount of secondhand stories could have prepared me for what I saw and felt.
Here are a few things that stayed with me.
The family living in a tent
One afternoon, while driving past a slum, I saw families living in tents, improvised shelters that looked like the kind you might buy online for summer camping. Only dirtier. Older. Fragile. With ten or more people crammed into each one. It was heartbreaking, but I had heard that India was still a relatively poor country, so I wasn’t really surprised.
Then our guide told us something I still can’t get over:
“They have money but they’re saving for a wedding.”
He explained that many of these families actually had the chance to live in better conditions, but were choosing to live like this in order to save up for their daughter’s marriage.
The weight of tradition and social expectation was so heavy that basic comfort and dignity were willingly sacrificed. It was then I realized that the idea of marriage in India wasn’t just about compatibility and pragmatism but it was often a system built on pressure, spectacle, and personal cost.
On love and the Taj Mahal
The Taj Mahal is magnificent. There’s no other word for it. It’s one of those places that somehow does live up to the hype, grander in scale, more intricate in detail, and more emotional than I ever expected.
Built by Emperor Shah Jahan in the 17th century, the Taj was a mausoleum for his wife Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to their 14th child. Heartbroken, he commissioned this marble masterpiece in her memory, a tribute to eternal love.
And yet, as I stood there, taking it all in, a thought crept into my head, half irreverent, half sincere:
“He built her all this after she died? Maybe a little less marble and a little more love while she was alive would’ve been nice.”
Of course, we can’t know what their relationship was truly like. But there’s something telling about how much we glorify love after it’s gone, turning it into legend, a monument, a story to be admired. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to invest all that energy into the everyday love, the kind that’s still alive and needs us.
The Taj is breathtaking. But it’s also a tomb.
And I guess that contrast, beauty and grief, admiration and loss, stayed with me long after I left.
Being the attraction
One thing I didn’t expect: people kept asking to take photos with me. Not because I was someone important, but simply because I was white.
At first I was confused but finally just went with it. It reminded me how much curiosity still exists across cultures, and how much unspoken privilege comes with the way we look.
What I loved
Let me be clear: I loved India! The food was incredible. I eat curry happily and regularly, but the ones I had there were unforgettable. And the fruits… simply another level!
The people were kind, curious, and warm.
And though I’d heard safety concerns before going, I actually felt okay, though to be fair, I stayed in five-star hotels and had a guide. My experience came with its own layer of protection. Still, the warmth I felt wasn’t just hospitality. It was very kind and human.
What I took home
India overwhelmed me in the best and hardest ways. It made me laugh, cry, question, and learn.
I still think arranged marriages can work. But now I also see how expectations can become burdens, and how the cost of tradition can sometimes be too high.
I still admire Indian community values. But now I understand how hard people work to maintain them and how unevenly the weight is shared.
I still believe travel changes you. And this time, it didn’t just open my mind. It cracked it wide open.
P.s. For this post, I used help from ChatGPT to better connect my ideas, but the stories, reflections, and emotional rollercoaster are all mine. India is a different experience for everyone 🧡
With love (and extra spice)…
Random Lessons 